~ Elizabeth the Second
   By the Grace of God, Queen of Great Britain
and Ireland, Queen of Australia, (including New Zealand), Empress of Canada, True Monarch of the United States, (excluding
Alabama), Czarina of Russia, Sun Goddess of
Oriental Lands, President of the Royal Cup and Saucer Company, Defender of the Faith, and Herbalife Distributor.

May I recommend
Herbalife's wonderful Sodium Choleate Tablets.
My Royal Price: 22.10
Contains high quality dietary
fibers and a lipid emulsifier to
assist the emulsification of fats
for the Royal digestion.
How blessed England is to have this delightful Monarch
sitting so lady-like, with ankles crossed, on the Throne
of England. Not only is she the most famous white
woman in the world, she is also the richest. So rich in fact that her noble face graces British currency.

Strict rules govern the handling of currency with the Queen's Portrait:

It is requested that the hands
be washed (including under the
nails) with a good brand of soap
before touching currency.

It is forbidden to roll currency up into a tube for
snorting cocaine or other illegal drugs.

The punishment for drawing
a moustache on the Queen is 40
lashes with the whip and
immediate deportation to Australia.

Care must be taken prevent
the Royal Portrait from seeing
anyone in a state of undress.

Members of the Catholic and
Jewish faiths, as well as
menstruating women, should
carefully hold currency by the edges only.

My most prized possession:
A Royal Doulton statuette of the Queen.

When Princess Diana would walk by
the Queen always blocked her nose to avoid the
stench of immorality.
She would whisper to her
husband Prince Philip:
"Something must be done
about that girl."

The Queen is also the head
of the Church of England.
She has vowed:
"While I am Queen there
will be no hoochie dancing
in the streets of England,
nor will the Press be
allowed to print stories
about my son Charles
being a flaming bender."
From her first cover of
Time magazine to her
recent spread in Playboy
the Queen has always been
the most beloved member
of international society .